wistfulbear:

jroetzer:

audrey-hepbae:

catchymemes:

10 tricks you didn’t know you could do with your food.

By Blossom

The internet went from showing food recipe videos to alchemy in less than a decade. There’s going to be a quick video on how to make the philosopher’s stone from tomato sauce next week. 

There is so much wrong in this video that I made a list.

1. The coal to diamonds is an outright lie

2. The insta-freeze takes more than 5 minutes of chilling, though the technique would work

3. The sprite is not dissolving dirt molecules, it’s dissolving tarnish. Any acid can do this.

4. Yes warmth melts wax. So?

5. Oh my god. Fuck no. There is no “genetic memory of the honeycomb” in honey. That’s a fucking ripple pattern. None of that but makes sense because that’s not how memory, genetics, or honey works. Holy shit this makes me mad. It’s not even making hexagons! Fucking morons.

6. Gross. Also I’m fairly certain some mention of cooking should be involved somewhere.

7. Actually straight up true. Good job. May take longer than just overnight.

8. It’s called curdling. Also gross.

9. Once again acid is shown to remove tarnish. Amazing.

10. While a soak in warm mile can seal minor hairline fractures in china dishes, this leaves out several steps and would not work at all on such a severe break.

In short, whoever made this is a lying fuck and everyone who believed it is a gullible fool. “Genetic memory of the honeycomb” my ass.

Hahahaha I’m so glad you made the effort to type all that out, I didn’t have the energy myself, but yeah, the honey thing made me mad too, and the coal thing at the start was like “wtf???!!” hahaha