my NEMESIS, second only to the loathsome SPANKING COP
“Keep walking, punk. Think you can just loiter in our territory? And take that suspicious ‘grocery bag’ with you… I don’t want to see you in this part of town again, you hear? Start moving before I forget the First Law… and don’t think your ‘little old lady’ act is gonna jog my memory.”
“Dude. What are you doing.”
“I’m menacing an intruder…?”
“That’s a fucking statue, asshole. When was the last time you updated your facial recognition software?”
“2007? It’s… look, updating is boring…”
“Oh my god. You’re medieval.”
“You lost or something? This is Main Street, scumbag. The Uncanny Valley is on the other side of town.”
“Jesus shit, dude, that’s the same statue you picked a fight with yesterday.”
“Oh. Really?”
“Yeah. If this is going to keep happening, I’m kicking you out of the band until you update your damn facial recognition.”
“I hate updating!”
“It’s basic self-care! You keep putting it off and you’re gonna become infested with viruses. You’re a liability we can’t afford.”
octoberspirit 