myrosecolouredgirl:

oh also manda and i have decided that what the universe really needs is a remake of the original pirates of the caribbean trilogy, but with john mulaney as captain jack sparrow

to prove it, i will list some of jack sparrow’s lines, and you all have to read them in your John Mulaney Talking Like This Voice:

• “and then they made me their chief”
• *in response to “damn to the depths whoever invented parlay* “that would be the french”
• “cuttlefish, eh? let us not, dear friends, forget our dear friends the cuttlefish! flippin’ glorious little sausages”
• “no survivors? then where do the stories come from, i wonder?”
• “did everyone see that? because i will not be doing that again”