littledeconstruction:

feministakio:

“I commonly run into the misconception that men from some national or ethnic groups behave much more abusively toward women than those in the mainstream of the United States and Canada. Social workers sometimes say to me, for example, “The family I am working with right now comes from one of those cultures where domestic violence is considered normal and acceptable.” The reality, however, is that cultural approval for partner abuse is disturbingly high in our society, even among the privileged and educated, and our domestic-violence statistics, while not the worst in the world, are on the high end. The United States is the only industrialized nation that has failed to ratify the UN convention on eliminating discrimination against women, which specifically refers to violence against women as a form of discrimination. Pointing fingers at other countries can be a way to ignore the serious problems in our own.
In reality, abuse of women—and societal approval of it—is a widespread problem in the great majority of modern cultures. […]
Abusive men from some national backgrounds are very explicit and direct about their cultural or religious rules, which can make their attitudes appear to be unusually bad. A man might say, for example, “God ordained that the man chastise the woman,” or he might say threateningly to this partner, “Part of a wife’s job is to give the man sex when he wants it.” Do white American abusers think in these ways less than abusers of other cultures do? No. They do often hide their
beliefs better and, by doing so, can create the impression of being more “enlightened.” But the directness of a cultural message is not the same thing as its strength. I have worked with hundreds of nonwhite abusers from a spectrum of cultures and religions, with more than twenty different countries of origin among them, and I can assure you that my white, middle-class clients feel every bit as justified as the others and have attitudes toward women that are just as superior and disrespectful.”

— Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men (via gothhabiba)

yes yes yes.

except violent men dont hide their beliefs BETTER in white Christian culture — we, who are surrounded by this culture, are socialized not to see it.

familiarity creates blind spots.