6 logince?

teacupfulofstarshine:

ALL LOGINCE ASKS ARE FBI!AU (star says, as the fic is primarily platonic prinxiety while roman pines)

pairings: romantic logince, platonic prinxiety (fbi!au)

prompt: “so what you’re saying is murder is definitely not up for discussion?” (tw: roman is a jealous boy but we love him) 

virgil’s door slams open. “VIRGIL HOLY FUCK -”

virgil doesn’t even turn away from his computer. “hello to you too, roman.” 

the door bangs shut as roman flings himself face-first into virgil’s old worn couch. he really needs to stop doing that; the couch is old and lumpy and hard and one of these days he’s going to slam his face into the arm or a stray spring and break his nose and then he’ll be INSUFFERABLE. 

“are you dying?” virgil asks. 

“someone is flirting with my man!” 

“my brother’s not your man, roman.” 

“but i’m pining for him! how dare this nobody get in my way! i’ve been trying to get him to notice me for months! it’s not my fault he doesn’t know what flirting looks like!” 

“this is so sad,” virgil deadpans. 

“virgil, don’t you fucking dare –” 

“alexa, play despacito.” 

the opening guitar strains of despacito trickle from virgil’s hidden speakers. roman grabs a piece of paper out of the trash, crumples it into a ball, and throws it at virgil’s head. “this is serious! i’m having a crisis!” 

“yeah, a gay crisis.” 

“if you don’t believe me, go look for yourself!” 

virgil sighs, but saves what he’s working on and pulls up the security camera feed from the bullpen. he hears roman shifting around on the couch. “i meant walk down there and look!” 

“i’m lazy.” 

“you know this is illegal, right?” 

virgil smirks. “i’m a federal employee now. i have a right to be in here.” 

“you really don’t, though. one of these days i’m going to arrest you.” 

“but it won’t be today, because you’re too busy pining for my baby brother and arresting me will definitely ruin your chances.” 

“that’s fair.” 

virgil angles the camera subtly with a few deliberate keystrokes, zooming in on logan’s desk. logan is standing, back pressed against the wood of his desk, as an agent virgil’s never seen before stands in front of him, body language flirtatious. logan’s face is blank, but virgil knows his brother. it’s the carefully crafted flat mask he uses when he’s uncomfortable. 

“i’m going to kill that guy!” roman seethes. 

“no you’re not,” virgil says. 

“absolutely i will! i am an fbi agent! there is literally a gun on my hip right now!” 

“roman, you can’t shoot him. that’s government-issue, there are rules.” 

“bold of you to assume i don’t have my own firearms.” 

“i know you don’t have any of them on you right now.” 

“well, i know martial arts! i can just snap his neck!” 

“roman, no.” 

“roman, yes! why don’t you want me to defend your brother’s honor?” 

“because we’re in a federal building, surrounded by federal agents, and then you’ll get arrested and you’ll never get to be with logan. additionally, he won’t want to date a killer.” 

roman slumps forward against the chair, head heavy on virgil’s shoulder. “so what you’re saying is murder is definitely not up for discussion?” 

“that is exactly what i’m – what is he doing?” virgil squints at the screen as the agent flirting with logan places his hand on the desk and leans into logan’s personal space. logan leans back, visibly uncomfortable, and roman growls in virgil’s ear. 

“that’s it! i’m going down there and you can’t stop me!” virgil’s door slams again as roman storms out. virgil switches the music from despacito to fall out boy and watches through the security camera as roman bursts into the bullpen and calls logan from the doorway. logan is plainly relieved as he slides away from the other agent and scrambles up to join roman, who has an empty file folder open and is pretending to pore over it. 

“nice going, roman,” virgil mutters fondly. “if anybody was gonna go for logan, i’m glad it’s you.” 

(I LOVE MY SOFT GAY DORKS OKAY THEY’RE PRECIOUS BABIES and virgil is definitely a memelord stfu) 

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