familysides:

The Oldest Brother

((hey y’all!! So this is in honor of 328 followers! I’ve wanted to get it written for a while but this morning inspiration struck and boom it was done! I hope you enjoy))

Words: 1852

Warnings: fighting, yelling, panic attacks, crying, broken objects, if there is anything else let me know

Roman loved being an only child, having all his parents attention was amazing, that is until Patton was born. Suddenly, his solo quest to save his ‘kingdom’ became journeys talking to his babbling brother who still couldn’t walk. He’d sit with Patton and tell him stories for hours, pretending to be fellow knights on a journey to save their kingdom. When his dad had asked why he wasn’t running around the house as much Roman had simply told him that every knight needed their rest, and besides his companion couldn’t keep up and he couldn’t just leave him behind. His dad had smiled, ruffled his hair, and let him know how noble that was. Roman had never felt more proud of himself.

Eventually, Patton learned how to walk and talk and did so with vigor, much to Roman’s delight. Their parents would laugh and smile as they ran through the house, yelling about how they needed to protect the magnificent king and queen from something called a dragon witch. When asked about said creature, Roman would explain that him and Patton couldn’t agree on a bad guy, so this was their compromise. Patton had said that dragons weren’t all bad, and Roman, ever the diplomat and never one to upset his baby brother, had agreed and told him that it was also a witch so it was okay to fight.

That year for Patton’s birthday Roman had begged his parents to let him go to Build-a-Bear so he could make him a dragon witch. Roman would never forget the look of delight, then apprehension, on Patton’s face when he opened it.

“But Roro dragon witches are bad!” He had cried, looking up at his brother who smiled.

“It’s okay Patty, this dragon witch is good! She wants to protect you, and she doesn’t mind pretending to be the bad guy for us when we play.”

With that Patton had smiled the biggest smile and surged forward, chubby toddler arms hugging Roman as tightly as possible.

Then Logan had been born and immediately Roman could tell he was different. He was a lot more fussy than Patton, always yelling and getting into everything, crawling around the house, figuring out how to get things Roman didn’t want him to, and following him everywhere. At first he had been frustrated with his youngest brother, until his mom explained to him Logan just thought he was interesting.

“Mom, Logan won’t leave me alone!” He yelled for the fifth time today, as the one year old pulled on his leg for the third time.

“Roman, honey, I don’t know why this upsets you so much, you used to love when Patton would do this,” she said, coming into the living room and picking up Logan who let out a shriek of protest making grabby hands at Roman.

“I’m ten now, too old for babies,” he told her matter of factly, wrinkling his nose at his brother, “Besides, Patton wasn’t as annoying.”

His mom laughed, shaking her head, “You’re never going to be too old for your brothers. I also find it kind of funny that you think Logan’s annoying when he just thinks you’re the coolest thing, isn’t that right Little Lolo?”

Logan made a gurgling noise as he squirmed in her arms, reaching out for Roman again.

Roman looked at his mom, “What do you mean?” he asked holding his arms out for Logan who readily moved into his arms and started playing with his shirt.

“Think about it, if Logan doesn’t like something he’s not afraid to let us know, but if he thinks something is interesting he will not leave it alone. Like the bees,” his mom explained, a gentle smile crossing her face as Roman looked at his brother.

“I remember that! He wouldn’t leave those poor creatures alone until you got him that bee plushee!”

“Exactly! To him, you’re the most interesting thing in the world, isn’t that cool?”

Roman shrugged, watching his brother rest his head on his shoulder, eyes closing, “I mean I get it, I am pretty cool. Maybe it isn’t the worst thing.”

His mom smiled, ruffling his hair, “That’s my boy. Now, I have to go get Patton up from his nap. You got him?”

Roman nodded, sitting down on the couch and holding his little brother close, silently vowing to protect his youngest brother just like he protected his middle brother.

Then Virgil had come along and Roman wasn’t sure how to feel. Virgil was already five and had his own parents, so why did he need Roman’s?

Of course his mom and dad had explained to both him and Patton why they were taking in Virgil, but he hadn’t missed the tired looks in both their eyes at the idea of another kid. They had explained that Virgil was actually their cousin, and his parents had been deemed unfit to take care of him, so they were taking him in so he didn’t go into foster care. They had been explicitly clear that Virgil probably wouldn’t like them that much at first, he had been through a lot, but they needed to be their for him when they could.

Roman still didn’t exactly get it, how could parents not take care of their kids? But, he did his best to be ready for Virgil. I mean, he was his brother now which meant he needed to be protected at all cost. That’s how it went, Roman had realized, since he was the oldest it was his job to take care of the others, so he would even if he didn’t get it.

Then Virgil had actually moved in and Roman had no idea what to do with this kid who seemed closer to Logan’s age than Patton’s. He had tried to tell him stories like he had Patton, but Virgil had just stared at him, eyes clouded with confusion. So, then he tried to do puzzles with him like he would Logan. He asked him riddles, had their parents get him puzzles for older kids, which backfired stupendously.

After that, his parents had to teach him what a panic attack was.

Feeling rather crestfallen, Roman wasn’t exactly sure what to do. He wanted Virgil to feel comfortable, he wanted him to be able to come to him, and most importantly he didn’t want him to have another panic attack ever again, but it wasn’t that easy and Roman wasn’t exactly known for his patience.

When he saw Virgil laying with Patton one day he lost it. He stopped trying to take care of Virgil, if he didn’t want him then so be it, he could be Patton’s problem.

And then their parents started fighting. Roman wasn’t sure what to do, they had never fought like this before and honestly he was scared, but he couldn’t afford to be, his brothers needed him.

He was trying to distract Logan when he heard the sound of a glass shattering from down stairs and he knew things were escalating. Acting quickly, he picked up a confused Logan and ran to Patton’s room to see a sight that broke his heart. Patton was trying to console a crying Virgil who couldn’t seem to breath to no avail.

“Patty it’s okay,” he reassured, running over with Logan still in his arms, “Why don’t you take Logan to my room and we’ll be there in a minute okay?”

Patton nodded, grabbing Logan from Roman and leaving quickly, letting Roman know how scared he really was when he didn’t even try to stay.

With the door firmly shut, Roman turned to the scared kid in front of him who still couldn’t seem to breath, “Hey Virgil, it’s okay I promise you. I just need you to open your eyes and breath for me okay? We can do it together.”

Roman watched as Virgil forced his eyes open and he smiled, hoping to reassure him, “There we go, now breathe in for seven, like this, perfect. Okay now we are going to hold for four okay? Excellent, you’re doing really well, now out for eight. Hey it’s okay, we can try again. If it’ll help you can put your hand to my chest like you do for Patty. That’s it okay now let’s try again.”

On they went, five minutes passing before Virgil finally got his breathing fully under control.

“Pat says I can trust you,” Virgil’s voice was just a whisper as he stared up at Roman through his bangs.

“I like to think you can,” Roman told him with a shrug, “But if you want to that is up to you, not anyone else. I promise I will protect you though, you’re my brother and I care about you and when you’re ready I hope you can trust me.”

Virgil stared at him for another minute before slowly offering his hand, only for a loud bang from down stairs to send him launching himself at Roman instead.

“Oh Virgil it’s okay, I got you,” he carded his hand through the five year old’s hair, deciding that it might be a good time to move to his room.

Roman could feel his heart breaking again as he carefully stood with Virgil in his arms. He couldn’t believe he was ever upset that Virgil didn’t seem to like him. Of course he’d be apprehensive of him, he was loud and energetic, the combination had probably been way too much for the small boy. He should’ve let him come to him instead of pestering him everyday, it was obvious now that that was what he needed.

Roman sighed as he snuck into the hall, lightly hitting his door with his hip to let Patton know he was there.

The door swung open quickly to reveal a red eyed Patton.

“Roman,” he whimpered as another crash sounded down the stairs.

“Hey Patty,” he whispered, ushering him inside and setting Virgil down on his bed as Patton clambered up beside him, “Okay, I know you all are scared but it’s okay. Why don’t I tell you all a story?”

After the nods of their heads, Roman began an epic tale of four princes and their kingdom, successfully distracting the brothers with his tale. Eventually, Logan was asleep, his head in Virgil’s lap and Virgil’s eyes were drooping as he leaned on Patton, who wasn’t fairing much better.

Feigning a yawn, Roman stretched his arms above his head dramatically, “I don’t know about you guys, but I think this prince needs his sleep.”

Patton smiled, looking at Virgil and Logan, before adding, “I think I could go for a nap.”

Virgil yawned as Roman climbed into bed, carefully moving Logan so his head was resting against his chest. Virgil crawled over to his other side, resting his head on Roman’s shoulder, while Patton laid down on Virgil’s other side, putting an arm around the the younger boy.

“Sleep well my fellow princes,” Roman whispered, as Virgil and Patton started to nod off.

He would rest, but someone had to stay awake just in case. He was the older brother after all.