good-janet:

It’s common knowledge that John Mulaney is immortal, but there’s a side to that theory that people haven’t mentioned. Which is that, yes, he’s immortal, but he does not occupy the same physical body at all times.

For example, I recently made a post about an 11 year old girl who walked past my car window who looked at her babysitter and said, “I am 11 years old. I am engaged. I have a puppy. That is my life story.”

There’s no way you can look me in the eye and tell me that you didn’t read that in John Mulaney’s voice. I’m sure we all–if we really think about it–have examples of hearing someone say something that sounds like a John Mulaney quote, but when you go to look it up, there’s no reference point.